


Two

by Rainjuly



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 09:30:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16699894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainjuly/pseuds/Rainjuly
Summary: What a privilege it is to loveA great honor to hold you upI’ll love you without any strings attached—Two, Sleeping At Last





	Two

_Sweetheart, you look a little tired, when did  you last eat?_

_Come in and make yourself right at home, stay as long as you need._

 

There’s a knock on the door.

And Harry stands there, looking as hard as a stone, breath ragged, hair swept by the wind, and looks as tired as he can be.

I let him in, I watch him walks fast to my kicthen. I love the way he does that. I love how he has the layout of my house by heart. I love him here, within my watch, where I can be ready to catch him when that weight on his shoulder become too much.

I wonder when will that happen, if it will ever happen.

 

_Tell me is something wrong, if something’s wrong you can count on me_

_You know I’ll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat_

 

He sits on my dining chair, not saying anything.

I know he hasn’t eaten yet, in days like this, he never does, so I continue what I’ve been doing before he came, I cook. I make sure to add beef in it because that’s just his favorite. I add more salt because for some reason that’s how he like it.

I serve the food in front of him. He won’t speak, he won’t even look at me. Then he takes the fork I force into his hands and starts eating.

I pour some wine to his glass, he doesn’t even blink, he drinks them all.

I look at him. His shoulders look so strong, his arms are steady. And he waits. I wait.

“It’s her.” His breath is still somehow ragged.

That’s all I need to know, that’s all he needs to say, because I know whenever this happens, he can’t say, he just can’t because he’s Harry so instead I pour another drink for him.

“Marriages are like that. You get upset, she gets upset, you would kiss and everything will be fine.”

“As if you know a thing about that.”

“I did have a wife.”

He sighs, “Sorry, Draco.” He really looks apologetic, “But it never gets better. Is it healthy? We’ve been married like 10 years or something, we have three childern, Draco, three. It’s not like I don’t love them, or that I don’t love her. I do. I swear I do. But sometimes it’s just too much.”

I don’t tell him about what is unhealthy love goes for me. Also, I don’t tell him I love him.

 

_It’s okay if you can’t find the words,_

_let me take your coat and this weight off of your shoulders._

He looks so defeated, even with those strong arms and shoulders in which everyone relies on. I don’t like that. I don’t want to put my weight on those shoulders, I want to free them from the weight of the world, I don’t even fucking care if that’s going to kill me.

I really hate myself for not being able to do something.

So I try to make my voice the gentlest one I can manage, “It happens, Harry. Don’t force yourself too hard. You love her, you love your children, and I know you won’t change them for anything. You are a good father, I can tell. Sometimes, life goes hard on you. But that doesn’t mean you fail.”

You can find the real message across those two last sentences.

He looks up at me. Finally I get to see those green eyes the first time today. They are still startling to me, even after all these years.

 

_Like a force to be reckon with,_

_A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss_

_I will love with every single thing I have_

 

Maybe you won’t call it healthy, hell, _I_ won’t call it healthy, about how much the love I can contain inside my chest for him, or the things I would do for him. All it takes is he tells me to die to make me off myself. I didn’t even know I had that in me to love someone that deep, that intense, without wanting anything in return. Giving is easy, giving is enough. Taking, is an entirely different case. Taking means you deem yourself worthy for it, taking means someone is willing enough to give. And I don’t believe anyone ever does. He’s so much. He’s him. He’s out of my league.

But that doesn’t mean that I can’t love him.

 

_Like a tidal wave I’ll make a mess,_

_Or calm waters if that serves you best_

_I will love you without any string attached_

 

Maybe it wasn’t exactly easy, loving someone _like this_. But loving _him_ is easy. He’s that kind of steady step and calm appearance, he stand tall against the wrong, he has such a smile that you can’t help but fall for, he’s intense, he has this charm to make you respect him, also he has all those past who built him to the person he is today.

I know family does not really bothers him the way he says. I can tell he’s stressed. There’s this election coming in the Ministry of Magic, he plays those politics card, he’s also the youngest head auror and there’s this big murder case which doesn’t seem to go anywhere near an answer, and maybe his wife really bothers him, just a bit, and the worst, the past has been haunting him again, and the pressure accumulated and it is too much. He’ll just tell me he has family problem, but we both know that that isn’t even the main problem.

He just doesn’t like to look weak, his front are so strong. He’s the leader and he won’t tell you that that bothers him.

I can’t force him to tell  the truth but I know it anyway and he knows I know, so we pretend to talk about family when It actually isn’t it. That happens a lot.

I love it when he seeks me in those moment when he needs to do something to take off some of the weight from his shoulder

It doesn’t mean anything though. I work at the ministry, I know what happens. I work in the auror department, he’s technically my boss. Only that he doesn’t mind me that much. He says I can see it anyway. He says I’m fine, I can see it. He also know my past, my nightmares, and that makes us even.

He says I’m one of his best friend nowadays.

And I can’t ask for more. That’s more than enough.

He takes a deep breath.

“You think I’ll survive?”

I look at him right in the eyes, “And I’m by you.”

He smiles, as if half of the weight has lifted off of his shoulder,  “Thank you Draco.”

I hide my smile.

God, loving him, is definitely easy.

 

_What a privilege it is to love_

_A great honor to hold you up_

_I’ll love you without any strings attached_

—Two, Sleeping At Last

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven’t heard the song, please go listen, it’s titled “Two” by Sleeping At Last, it’s really beautiful and meaningful, and it’s worth it, like really, Sleeping At Last’s songs are beautiful and that’s an understatement. I can’t even begin to put a word about them. Also, I wasn’t going to say this but you’ve probably noticed anyway, English isn’t my native language. It’s like the 3rd? Okay so, now you know that.


End file.
